On my way to work this morning (when most of my deep thinking takes place) I had a bunch of ideas on what to blog about today. One of the topics I was considering was based on the belief structure of most religions today. Except for a few cases, most religions have one God, and you worship that God exclusively. Worship is one thing I don’t really want to go over anywhere, since it’s extremely personal and even among religious people there are many who don’t believe in it. I want to go on the record here with a simple statement: Your religion’s God and your Personal Deity are not necessarily the same thing. Worshiping your Personal Deity is entirely up to you. If you feel you need to, by all means, that’s your call. I myself consider my Personal Deity to be separate from God. I was raised in a Christian church (non-Catholic, or rather, Anti-Catholic) and have since determined I believe in the Goddess. Not because there couldn’t possibly be a male who gave birth to the World, but because it was a very personal revelation that brought about a catharsis within my heart and mind. I’m of the opinion that there are actually more Gods and Goddesses in this world. Each belief we have manifests a spiritual guide that leads us on our journey. The internal Personal Deity we all have may link to the external one, or may be a miniature version of one.
All of these thoughts came about because of a bumper sticker on a car ahead of me on the freeway. It was one of the plastic upside-down Darwin ones, insinuating “Darwin is Dead (but Jesus isn’t),” or whatever their insinuation was. It made me consider the very real possibility that Darwin was deitized by his followers. The very religious belief that if you believe in something you worship it has caused these folks to believe that because Darwin is dead, his scientific findings are unfounded. While the man who verbalized and gave it a name may be dead, the basic belief that we all evolve over time is definitely not dead. Instead of looking at it analytically, people have drawn their own conclusions over the messenger’s death. In my childhood there was a very strong understanding that unless we learned and grew, we would never achieve anything we could. Along with trials and tribulations would come success and achievement. Without one we couldn’t have the other. In its own way it is a form of evolution. Darwin’s theories aside, without evolving into what we are now, we would still be backwards cavemen spearing animals for food and believing in finding our next meal instead of finding time to contemplate how we got there to begin with. In its own weird way, the Darwin Religion (since that’s how some choose to view it) coincides with other religions. There are a lot of parallels in each religion that some choose to ignore because theirs is the best. An old High School friend once said his religion was (HisName)ism. It was an idea that really stuck with me. Your spiritual journey is exactly what you make it. If you follow someone else’s journey, you’re part of their religion.
Positiveness is a view of life that perceives the world around as though everything is basically good. Ambivalence is a take-things-as-they-are sort of perspective. Negativeness automatically assumes the worst of anything that happens. Of the three potential perspectives, positivity is the hardest to achieve. The jaded in life are normally ambivalent, though I’ve seen some who are negatively ambivalent. Most days I wind up with positive ambivalence. It really is a struggle to reach for the happy in a situation instead of dwelling on the sad, angry and mad. When your daughter has been whining off and on for the past 12 hours it’s really hard to find the cute or sweet in it. I will learn to stop snapping and be more understanding. In time I will be more appreciative of these moments where I’m needed, because children turn into adults who can walk on their own two feet without parental guidance.
This past weekend my daughter started toddling around without pausing so often to grab a wall or couch. She went from room to room, smiling and cooing as she ate her pepperoni. It was so sweet and cute and something I really missed watching her older brother do. He’s been running around so long now, I forgot his first attempts at walking. He would stomp firmly with each foot in front of the other, marching up and down the driveway at his grandparents’ house. Deia does a sort of diaper waddle, all caution and bent knees. She’s a lot more aware of the reactions of those around her and quite obviously loves the praise and smiles she gets. If there’s ever a time when reaching for the positive becomes monumental, remembering the little moments and the big moments in life can be a life-line. We all have our struggles to overcome, a life to figure out, and happiness to find where we can. If memories are what hold us together and allow us to move forward, there’s nothing wrong with sneaking a bit of our history into our present so we can take the next step. Just remember: it’s not happening now, so don’t build your life on it.